Unleash Your Imagination And Keep Your Bad Ideas
by Pessimistic Plum
Summary: The result of what happens when the author who wrote "The Makings of a Truly Horrid Harry Potter Fiction" got serious recognition and then had her story banned: A sequel under a new name!
1. Introduction

Introduction-

Unleash your imagination and free your soul.

Rather powerful statement I must say, when the individual it pertains to is a talented and particularly crafty author. A good fan fictionist can make us look at a well-known story in a new light and quite possibly stay etched to memory for a long time But…what about the fan fictionists that are simply mindless idiots who couldn't spell/write/stick to a simple plot/think in a comprehendible fashion? Yes, you know the fan fictionists of whom I speak. Of course you've left nasty little messages on their stories that come to the effect of "Stop writing, you lame ass!" or "Use spell check, you incoherent bastard!" But they continue to write with the same horridness that makes that tiny bit of vomit in the back of your throat rise to your mouth.

Indeed.

Someone should teach these idiots a lesson. Someone--some brave soul willing to face great hardship-- should correct these individuals in a polite manner and teach them the basics of writing and enhance their "gift" of writing good literature.

I'm sorry to announce that I am not that person.

Inside this fiction…lie things that could make an English major's skin crawl. Grammatical errors, "misspeelings", and amongst other things: really shitty fan fiction. All written, of course, in an extremely sardonic, rude, and sometimes cruelly funny fashion. Why? Because being an ass is fun. And so, I present to you, oh-so-kind-reader, my fan fiction from hell.

-The Author.


	2. Random Fiction 1

Story 1 of...I'm not sure yet.

**Author's note:** Here, I have written, to the _best _of my ability, a story of love, angst, and male pregnancy. The plot…well, there is no plot. The characters…hmm. But there us this really great sex scene that would turn Michael Jackson on (Check off my criteria box for "random Michael Jackson insult.")

(How Time Consuming.)

It was a dark an really rainy day cus that's the best way to introduce my story about Hairy Poter, whose name I will continue to misspell throughout this story. Omg, Heary Pooter was this like, really cool guy and he was even cooler than Josh Nickolson who plays quarterback on our school football team evn thoug he goes out with Jamie Holdson who is this lyk, big hor who slept with my boyfrind Tommy and that made me really really sad and I cried for days…

(Author goes to regain her composure. Readers apparently, do not care in the least)

…And Harri was so cool because he was this wizard, right? And so he had this cool stick that shot shit out of it…omg, not like that, LOL ROFL LMAO! But omg, he was so fucking hot because he was also Daniel Radcliff and he lived in this house with his uncle who was fat and his aunt who was mean and his cousin Dudley who was fat and mean and ...**(Insert overused adjectives often associated with Dudley Dursley's name here.)**

So omg, haray wanted to go to see his girlfriend-that-the-reader-is-not-familiar-with-and-whom-they-assume-is-a-mary-sue but his aunt and uncle said this which in my worthless opinion was so fucking mean:

"No."

So then hairay pawtah was like, so fucking sad and he didn't even get to go to his girlfriend's house and so then, for like, no apparent reason besides the fact that the author has to move the story along, he decided to kill himself and it was so sad.

But omg, draco, who conveniently renounced his pompous jackass ways, miraculously happened to barge in and he lyk saved harey and then the started to take each ohteras clothes of and then they fawked lyk animals and then they said they lovedd each other and thjens, they got maried and it was like, such a sweet thing, only they couldn't have kids cus they were men…

(Spell Check works furiously to catch up with each grammatical and spelling errors.)

…But then so miraculously, Draco became pregnant! Even though he was a man! Because that's what happens in male pregnancy fiction! Go figure!

And then like, 9 months later because I really don't know what happens in between that time frame cause I didn't get to take the sex ed class, draco pushed and he pushed and out poped a baby! And ti was really blonde and had hairy' s eyes and they named it Greg because that's the name of my new boyfriend at school to totally kicked my cheating boyfriend's ass in a fight and I laughed so fucking hard my sides, like…ached!!!!!!LMAO! Omg, it was so funny u shoulda been there…

(The reader feel their IQ drop about 20 points during this time.)

...And then …

(Author doesn't update for a long while because she is grounded from the computer for failing English class, ironically enough.)

...Greg grew up and Haiey and draco died lyk, a looooong time ago because I never got to include this previously in the plot and then, I made a sequel!!!!!! And now the story is about greg! OMFG!LMAOROFL!!!!

…

OMG!

The end


End file.
